Australia vs. Germany

So it's happened. I knew it would, eventually, especially under the right circumstances. . .

I like soccer (ahem--football). Erin is still coaching me through the finer points of the rules and who's who and why that's a penalty and what's a red card again? but I like it. I really do.

And not that this should have surprised me given how I act at American football games, but I have discovered I really like soccer trash talk. For example:





















I've refrained from posting it on the walls of actual English friends.  Because I don't want to to get punched in the face.  Or jinx the US team, because I can't handle having that on my conscience.

However, I have no problem jinxing other countries.  So on Sunday, after having slept until approximately 1 in the afternoon recovering from the previous night's exhausting watch of US-England, Kat, Jelena and I headed to Secco.  Where we, with our Aussie friends, talked serious smack to the Germans. 

In order to paint a proper picture of this, I should start off by saying that we were watching the game at a German pub with a group of about 15 Australian supporters (us included).

And we were those fans. You know the ones. . . the ones you just want to sit down and shut up before you really lose your temper and make them shut up.

For example. On our way to the German pub Secco, we chanted these gems:


"There were 10 German bombers in the air (in the air)!
There were 10 German bombers in the air (in the air)!
There were 10 German bombers, there were 10 German bombers
There were 10 German bombers in the air!
Then the RAF from England shot one down (shot one down)!
Then the RAF from England shot one down (shot one down)!
Then the RAF from England, the RAF from England
Then the RAF from England shot one down (shot one down)!"

. . . And so on and so forth until you get to zero, when you shout something about Germany losing the war.

I particularly liked: (this is to the tune of "Yellow Submarine")

"We all live in a convict colony
A convict colony
A convict colony." (and repeat)

And the classic:
Chant Leader: Aussie Aussie Aussie!
Chanters: Oy Oy Oy!
Chant Leader: Aussie!
Chanters: Oy!

Once we ran out of those, we made up our own, righteously pissing off the Germans. They involved, in no particular order: Volkswagen, sauerkraut, the Schleiffen plan, a brief rundown of German history since 1945, and World Wars I and II. (Although we made up with a few Germans by challenging them to a drinking contest [and by "we" I mean the boys, Mom and Dad] which was promptly lost by the Aussies.)

The end result? Germany 4, Australia 0.

And that dear friends is why the smack-talking pic of Robert Green is only getting posted on American walls.